The end of us

I'm overcome with sadness at this moment; I am weeping

I know that we all know about the atrocities happening around the world to innocent victims, but have we ever paused to realize how easily our lives could have been exchanged with theirs? I could have been one of thousands of children abducted in order to fight and murder for the rebel army in Uganda, or a young Cambodian woman forced into prostitution in order to feed her family, or a poor mother in the Philippines fighting to save her family from massive flooding caused by torrential downpour...and the list goes on. My heart is breaking at the thought of other living, breathing human beings just like you and I having to survive in such a way. We were lucky to be born into a society that recognizes the automatic rights given to every human being just by being alive, but sadly many countries in the world do not. Please, please remember that for the majority of these people, it is in no way their fault. How could it be? Can they help the condition of the place they call home? It is so easy to be comfortable in our wealthy (we are wealthy) nation; to forget, or maybe to pity those "less fortunate." We cock our heads to the side and think that's so sad. Someone really should do something. Yet, we remain inactive. We have all done that. I know I have. But is that really the stance God has called us to? God aside, does it not simply make sense for those who have to share with those who do not? Or at least give to those who can practically help if we cannot? Is it not a travesty to stand aside and do nothing?

Go. Give. Pray. Speak out. Find what makes your heart break, and commit to helping that cause as much as you can. Think you don't have the time or money? Really? Do you really need that new shirt, or can you wear one of the handful in your closet? Can you skip the latte today? Do you really need to eat out tonight when your pantry is fully stocked? I challenge you to think - think about where you spend. Because where your money is, your heart is also.

Please, do something. Indifference is more heartbreaking than scorn.

...figure this one out...

BAAAHHH!!!!

I'm so frustrated!!!

I don't even know where to start. Sometimes I feel like being a musician means saying "yes" to every gig, every musical opportunity, and every chance I have at furthering my "musical career" even if it means bending over backward and completely burning myself out. I seems like my professors, and even sometimes church musicians, just keeping wanting more and more and more from me and expecting higher and higher and higher quality work. Is that the way the world works? Should I not be surprised in the least? I can't handle trying to live up to everyone else's standards of me and not my own. Can't I do things my way for once?

Ok, here's the back story:
I love choir. I always have. It's an important part of my life, past and present. Even though sometimes I begrudgingly attend practices, overall I enjoy the feeling of being a part of a whole sound created by individual voices. Sometimes I even feel swept away by the power of so many voices working towards a common musical goal. It is a feeling I cannot find anywhere else. Please keep this in mind for the next few sentences or so.
It just so happens that this upcoming year, my last one in an undergraduate program, I have major conflicts with my choir class. You see, I love music and it is a big part of my life; but it would be far from the truth to say it is the only part of my life. Last January I applied for the position of Resident Assistant in my favorite dorm on campus and was accepted (yay!). However, the accompanying training seminar for R.A.s (Resident Assistant Training Seminar or R.A.T.S.) occurs every Tuesday during choir time (430-600ish). [side bar: choir is Monday, Tuesday, Thursday from about 430 to 600] I contacted my choir director and told him of the conflict, and he replied that we would "chat" about it at another time, "chat" being one of his favorite words (he's Brazilian, not that that really has anything to do with anything). A few weeks later, an election was held to find the best representative from each academic department to be in Student Senate. Well, guess who was elected Music Senator? That's right, yours truly. Which, by the way, I was not even on the ballot so that's saying something. I was once again overjoyed until I realized that senate meets on Thursdays during choir time. Oh dang, now I'm really in a pickle. I can't rightly be a part of choir by only attending one class a week - that probably wouldn't even grant me a credit. However, I know that the professor was really counting on me to be a part of the choir and it breaks my heart that I can't be there for him. I just feel like it's not fair for me to only be there a part of the time. I feel like it's all just a mess... I know God will work it all out, but it's just tough in the mean time.
Prayer, anyone?

Back in the Burg

As some of you have noticed, I haven't written in a while. I know, I know shame on me. It's not that I don't want to write...it's just that life happens. Plus, I'm not much of a writer. I prefer talking (ha! doesn't every woman?). Anyway, my last weeks in nyc were just as wonderful as the first ones, albeit much drier. I can't believe how many fun outings I stuffed in to two weeks. Let's see....where should I start?

I managed to make it to Rockaway Beach in Queens a few days before I left. It was gorgeous - the perfect sunny day. It took me a while to get there, almost an hour and a half, but it was worth it. Even though it is located in Queens, I had to take the 7 train into Times Square and then transfer to the A train and stay on the A all the way down Manhattan, through Brooklyn, and finally to Broad Channel where I had to transfer to the Shuttle. It was quite a long trip, but I read my book, Eat Pray Love, the whole way there. The only thing was the disregard some other beach-goers had for their neighbors. There were numerous boom boxes (do people still call them that??) blaring their individual radio stations at levels that could have been disturbing to others. However, the beach was clean and the water was lovely, and most importantly, I didn't feel uneasy leaving my beach bag on the towel while I was happily cooling off in the waves. Check! Day well spent.

...more to come!

I'm so excited!

I am so excited to be heading to CA for the weekend! My friend Julia is getting married on saturday, and I am blessed to be one of her bridesmaids. But first, I am hanging out with a different friend, Erika, and I'm sure we will have a blast. This is the first time that I get to be a bridesmaid, so I'm super excited!

Tonight, my friends (Kady, Josh, and Chris) and I are going to see the midnight showing of Harry Potter 6! I can't wait. Then, I will sleep for a few hours and then off to California woo woo!

Work has been absolutely amazing. I am continuing to learn more and more everyday. Claire, the owner of the store, is letting me plan a bunch of events. As most of you know, I love coming up with events and planning them, so I'm in heaven. The coolest part is, she actually thinks they're good. It's neat to be recognized like that...you know? To know that I'm not just good at organizing dorm events ;) She even asked if I would be willing to do a 'singing as healing' workshop. How great would that be? There are so many people here who would just love to be my voice students...is it bad that I would really like to stay here? I mean, I could work at the store part time and start building up my studio. That would be amazing. Oh well, I guess I must finish college first, huh?

Catch you all after I get home from CA!

...

All You who Sleep Tonight

All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
And emptiness above -

Know that you aren't alone
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years.

Vikram Seth

First Day of my First Cleanse

My experience working at Nourish NYC has been absolutely amazing! I can't believe I've been working there for three weeks already. I have learned sooooo much about food, health, and the way our body works, I feel like I'm still in school - only way more fun and I'm getting paid for it. I can't believe how much junk we eat. No really, it's absolutely horrifying. Dangerous chemicals, antibiotics, processed foods, weird added coloring. I can't believe no one is telling us about all of this! Don't believe me? Here are just a few of the stats:

Pesticides

With today's chemical farming, even the old adage that "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" must be questioned. For the caterpillar, one brief journey across the average apple is enough to kill it. But what about us? According to the World Health Organization, there were three million cases of severe pesticide poisoning and 20,000 deaths globally in 1996. A survey by the Ministry of Agriculture, Food and Fisheries found that 89% to 99% of all fresh fruit, cereals, and vegetables are sprayed with pesticides! That means that pesticides used in animal feed also contaminate most meat and milk.

Although few proper surveys have been carried out to find the extent of the problem, the Association for Public Analysts randomly tested 305 fruits: 31 of the samples contained pesticide residues above the safety levels, and another 72 samples showed lower pesticide residues. Some fruits-particularly strawberries, raspberries, grapes, and tomatoes had measurable levels of at least six different pesticides! More recent concerns deal with the level of chemicals in carrots and lettuce. In 1994, a survey of carrots found some to have levels 25 times higher than the safety limit. In 1995, 10% of lettuces tested had levels in excess of the safety limit.

What can you do to protect yourself?

1. Select organic fruit and vegetables whenever possible. Wash or peel non-organic produce.

2. Choose fruits and vegetables in season. This means that your exposure to the chemicals used to delay ripening, prolong shelf-life, preserve color and so on, will be limited.

3. Supplement your diet with antioxidant nutrients-vitamins A, C, and E, and the minerals zinc and selenium-since the detoxification of many pesticides involves these nutrients.

Food Additives

Chemicals are purposely added to food to change its color, preserve it, prevent rancidity, keep fats emulsified, and foods stable. Most of the chemicals are synthetic compounds, some with known negative health effects. But more importantly, we don't really know what the long-term consequences of consuming such large amounts of additives are. It is therefore best to avoid all additives, with a few notable exceptions.

Yeah, and this article is old...imagine what it's like now.

What most people don't realize is we eat what our food eats. So if we eat a chicken that ate genetically modified corn meal, we eat that too. I realize that organic food is more expensive, but let me ask you this: is it better to spend more now and spare you health later? Or save more now and end up spending thousands of dollars on medical treatments later? It's a decision we all must make for ourselves.

Rainy Days and Thursdays

Do you know that classic movie moment where the new york city girl is walking the sidewalks on a rainy day and she stops at an intersection, preparing to cross the street, when all of the sudden a car splashes through a huge puddle and drenches the poor girl from head to toe? Well, that exact scenario happened to me just this morning on the way to work. I was already late because of lack of sleep the night before. I was not even thinking about anything but getting to work as fast as possible. Little did I know I was about to be as wet as a kid fresh off a water ride at Hershey Park. Oh man, I have never felt so silly as I did just then. When I told my coworker michelle what had happened, she said "Welcome to New York. That has all happened to us at some point. It's like a right of passage." I think she's right.
After work, I decided to visit the Museum of the City of New York on 5th and 103rd. It was so neat! They had exhibits on the Dutch, the ecology of Manhattan in 1609 and now, toys of the 17th and 18th centuries, history of nyc trade, and performing arts history. It was fascinating! I only wish I could have been able to share it with someone. Oh well, independence is a good thing, right?
I feel much better now sitting in my living room in nice dry clothes. Hopefully this rain will quit soon or else I need to buy a new pair of wellies!

Hello from the Mother Ship!

I am writing this from the Apple Store on Fifth Ave in NYC. When I stepped off the subway steps and turned the corner and that big white apple came into view...I felt like I had come to the mother ship. Here it is: one of the biggest apple retailers in the country. I'm falling in love all over again :)

I actually just applied for a job right here on this very computer. I really hope they let me work here. It would be a dream come true.

Ok, Ok enough about my mac obsession.

Well, job hunting has been a little rough. Kady has no pity for me - she's been giving me the tough love for the past two days. "Oh Bren, it's only your (first, second, third) day! something will come up!" She's even making me make a list of twelve places I try to get a job at today. Harsh? Maybe. But it's want I need - a little kick in the pants to get moving.

...I really want to get a job here!...

I visited a health food store called nourish and they said I could pick a some P/T hours from them. $8 an hour isn't bad, huh? I hope it works out. The store is on Queens Blvd, so only about a 7 or 8 minute walk. However, the second I get a call from Apple I'm outta there!!!!

It seems as though this post will only become more and more about Apple by the minuute, so I think I should just put you out of your misery and finish typing.

Plus, there are a million people waiting for computers so I should stop hogging this one.

Sigh...all these mac lovers in one place...I can hardly stand it!

My First Day

Well, it's finally here. I'm all unpacked and ready to begin my summer living in New York City. The townhouse in Queens (Sunnyside) is very nice. The room I'm staying in with Kady is nice and big; good for two people. On the top floor is an Indian family...well, that's what I gather anyway. The smells that waft down to our floor are very Indian, and every once in a while I can here 'clomp, clomp, clomp' of kids' feet as they run across the apt. Hmmm...is it too soon to invite myself up for dinner? I LOVE Indian food :)
I must admit, I'm nervous about finding a job. Kady has two friends who are living on the Columbia campus for the summer, and they boh got summer jobs within a week of when they got here. So there is hope! I printed out a few copies of my resume (now condensed, thanks to my uncle Gary), and I'm ready to get out tomorrow and pound the pavement! Please God help me find something!
So, things really seem to be coming together. We even have "easy wheels" to help us carry our groceries from FoodLand (or is it FoodTown? FoodCity? FoodFun?) - pictures on that to follow (we both look like bag ladies!). I just hope this week goes smoothly.
God-help me to stay your devoted child in a city full of lost people. Help me find a church to attend while I'm here. Please provide some income so I can pay the rent and see some broadway shows! I love you, Lord.

I'm Flying!

Hello from 10,000 ft.! I am currently flying somewhere over southern CA on my way to phoenix, az. Southwest has this new thing where they have wi-fi on the plane - while we're in the air! Isn't that great? Now, workaholics everywhere can get the job done without even having their feet on the ground. Yay!

I can't wait to be home again. It's been so long it seems...well I guess 5 months. Some days I didn't know I could miss people so much. This year has been one of the hardest times I have had to go through yet. But I have witnessed God working in so many amazing ways. I know I haven't exactly been the most faithful to Him, but he has been more than faithful to me. He has held me close when I felt so tired and weak and wanted to run away. He is truly merciful. I am so lucky to have met the people that he brought into my life. I have really seen the true colors of those around me.

Thank you, to all of you who have been there - those who have let me stay in their extra bedrooms, given me rides, prayed for me, and even gave me $20 for groceries when I had nothing. You are truly God in human form. My California family.

I must admit I am nervous for this summer. I will be doing many new and exciting things while I am in NYC. But I can't wait to just dive in - and I will try to keep this blog updated as I go!

life in redding as a long-term sub

It's 1:09 pm on a monday afternoon and I am doing...nothing. My life these past few weeks has been full of students. No, I am not taking summer classes. In fact, I am teaching two classes at Redding Christian School. I know, huh? I kind of can't believe how blessed I am to have this awesome opportunity.

However...I am sitting here watching last week's episode of the bachelorette eating tortilla chips and salsa. What happened? Hmmm...I think I need to get myself a sewing machine. Maybe that would keep me busy.

As of right now, though, I need to shut this off and have some contact with real live people. Not the ones that live inside my computer screen.