BAAAHHH!!!!
I'm so frustrated!!!
I don't even know where to start. Sometimes I feel like being a musician means saying "yes" to every gig, every musical opportunity, and every chance I have at furthering my "musical career" even if it means bending over backward and completely burning myself out. I seems like my professors, and even sometimes church musicians, just keeping wanting more and more and more from me and expecting higher and higher and higher quality work. Is that the way the world works? Should I not be surprised in the least? I can't handle trying to live up to everyone else's standards of me and not my own. Can't I do things my way for once?
Ok, here's the back story:
I love choir. I always have. It's an important part of my life, past and present. Even though sometimes I begrudgingly attend practices, overall I enjoy the feeling of being a part of a whole sound created by individual voices. Sometimes I even feel swept away by the power of so many voices working towards a common musical goal. It is a feeling I cannot find anywhere else. Please keep this in mind for the next few sentences or so.
It just so happens that this upcoming year, my last one in an undergraduate program, I have major conflicts with my choir class. You see, I love music and it is a big part of my life; but it would be far from the truth to say it is the only part of my life. Last January I applied for the position of Resident Assistant in my favorite dorm on campus and was accepted (yay!). However, the accompanying training seminar for R.A.s (Resident Assistant Training Seminar or R.A.T.S.) occurs every Tuesday during choir time (430-600ish). [side bar: choir is Monday, Tuesday, Thursday from about 430 to 600] I contacted my choir director and told him of the conflict, and he replied that we would "chat" about it at another time, "chat" being one of his favorite words (he's Brazilian, not that that really has anything to do with anything). A few weeks later, an election was held to find the best representative from each academic department to be in Student Senate. Well, guess who was elected Music Senator? That's right, yours truly. Which, by the way, I was not even on the ballot so that's saying something. I was once again overjoyed until I realized that senate meets on Thursdays during choir time. Oh dang, now I'm really in a pickle. I can't rightly be a part of choir by only attending one class a week - that probably wouldn't even grant me a credit. However, I know that the professor was really counting on me to be a part of the choir and it breaks my heart that I can't be there for him. I just feel like it's not fair for me to only be there a part of the time. I feel like it's all just a mess... I know God will work it all out, but it's just tough in the mean time.
Prayer, anyone?
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Back in the Burg
As some of you have noticed, I haven't written in a while. I know, I know shame on me. It's not that I don't want to write...it's just that life happens. Plus, I'm not much of a writer. I prefer talking (ha! doesn't every woman?). Anyway, my last weeks in nyc were just as wonderful as the first ones, albeit much drier. I can't believe how many fun outings I stuffed in to two weeks. Let's see....where should I start?
I managed to make it to Rockaway Beach in Queens a few days before I left. It was gorgeous - the perfect sunny day. It took me a while to get there, almost an hour and a half, but it was worth it. Even though it is located in Queens, I had to take the 7 train into Times Square and then transfer to the A train and stay on the A all the way down Manhattan, through Brooklyn, and finally to Broad Channel where I had to transfer to the Shuttle. It was quite a long trip, but I read my book, Eat Pray Love, the whole way there. The only thing was the disregard some other beach-goers had for their neighbors. There were numerous boom boxes (do people still call them that??) blaring their individual radio stations at levels that could have been disturbing to others. However, the beach was clean and the water was lovely, and most importantly, I didn't feel uneasy leaving my beach bag on the towel while I was happily cooling off in the waves. Check! Day well spent.
...more to come!
I managed to make it to Rockaway Beach in Queens a few days before I left. It was gorgeous - the perfect sunny day. It took me a while to get there, almost an hour and a half, but it was worth it. Even though it is located in Queens, I had to take the 7 train into Times Square and then transfer to the A train and stay on the A all the way down Manhattan, through Brooklyn, and finally to Broad Channel where I had to transfer to the Shuttle. It was quite a long trip, but I read my book, Eat Pray Love, the whole way there. The only thing was the disregard some other beach-goers had for their neighbors. There were numerous boom boxes (do people still call them that??) blaring their individual radio stations at levels that could have been disturbing to others. However, the beach was clean and the water was lovely, and most importantly, I didn't feel uneasy leaving my beach bag on the towel while I was happily cooling off in the waves. Check! Day well spent.
...more to come!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)